You've been yearning for love and tenderness and not getting any from the person who matters most. It seems you're stuck in a rut where talking about it will create tension, and not talking about it will cause the rift to get wider. For clarity and perspective, listen to the advice of an elder.
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Edward Gibbon, Harry S Truman, David Attenborough, Thomas Pynchon, Peter Benchley, Melissa Gilbert, Josie Maran